I don’t know why but right now it is hitting me so hard that I am not in Seattle.
I just feel so stuck.
It might have something to do with preparing my cousin for this huge step of getting married.
Seeing her take this next step is so exciting yet it makes me stop to look at myself and wonder where the fuck am I right now.
I am in exactly the same place in my life as I was when I visited her fourish months ago.
The people I met last time are asking me what I have been up too or how school is and I just stopped and realized that nothing is different in my life.
It doesn’t help that at my last therapist appointment there was no definite yes or no on me leaving in the fall.
I am just so scared of it being torn away from me last minute again.
I need to go pray my fears away now.
I don’t know why but being in New York just makes my heart ache for Seattle.
fueledbycaffeine: Where do my bluebirds fly, by The tallest man on earth.
“And I know our song is old but heavy
as I see dry leaves fallin’ down, oh
With all this fever in my mind,
I could drown in your kerosene eyes
Oh, you’re just a riddle in the sky
Oh, where do my bluebirds fly?”
(Source: boymeetsworldgifs, via everywayuwonderifurwrong)
the first day of this trip has been hell so far.
the only good part was yummy tofu lo mein.
